22 Ways to Honour Your Old Friends & First Loves

1. Make a list of all the people, from when you were little, who inspired you, taught you something important, loved you, hugged you or treated you with respect.
2. In fact, it often happens that someone who was your number-one enemy in your past could have taught you some of your most important lessons - if you have been honest enough with yourself!
3. Look up your old friends and connections on Facebook, Yahoo, Google, MySpace or Gaia.com - (you never know, they could have become spiritual in the meantime!)
4. Write to them honestly and thank them for whatever they meant to you.  If they write back and acknowledge you, take it from there.  Ask yourself whether it would serve you or them to continue a friendship or just show gratitude and move on.  [Be assured that I am NOT advocating looking up old boyfriends or girlsfriends and causing havoc in their lives.  This action must come from the right place - a place of gratitude and mature sharing - or else don’t even think about it!]
5. Send them photos of you, your children and what you’ve been up to and ask for some in return.  I know when I received photos of my friend’s children I just packed up bawling.  I was so moved and thrilled to see a mini-version of them - to see that they had co-created a miracle!
6. I guarantee if you shoot from the heart and are honest, you could give them a lift - whatever happens, it is always wonderful to acknowledge someone and let them know how special they were or are to you.
7. Find out when their Birthday is and send them cards or a message.
8. Some people are meant to be in your life for a little while, others for longer, and still others -forever.   So don’t become too attached to the outcome or reaction from the other person.  They may be going through hell, or simply have forgotten you - don’t take it personally - just put the good thoughts out there and then let it go, get on with what you were doing.
9. Send them flowers or a hug on Facebook.
10. Dedicate a song or video to them on Facebook
11. Check out where they used to live and where you used to hang out on Google Maps - it’ll bring back lots of memories.
12. If they’re on Skype and you’re on Skype, you can talk to each other through a mic or through your video cam transmission.
13. Congratulate them on their successes and show empathy for their disappointments. If you can’t find it in you to feel or do this, give it up, or get some therapy!  Write to me, I know lots of great therapists all around the world!  (No, don’t ask me why!)
14. Something very special happens when you are kind to someone and acknowledge them for being a person who meant or means something to you.  You encourage their hearts and that’s a good thing!
15. Tell them news about your life - if you haven’t seen each other for years, it will be like a breath of fresh air to them.
16. DO NOT unload your bags of manure on them - that’s where the therapist comes in - your friends are there to love you and support you if they are in a position to do so.
17. If you are able to, send them flowers, a book or something small and precious in the mail.
18. If not, send them a letter - it means so much to receive a hand-written letter these days.
19. Write them a poem of thanks.
20. Phone them once a month and chat with them if you know this is mutually beneficial.
21. Remember their children’s birthdays and send money or a card.
22. Give them a typical Jewish blessing - No, they don’t have to be Jewish!  May you want for nothing in life.  May your heart always be filled with joy and gratitude, even in times of despair.  May your family want for nothing and may there always be enough food in your house to feed your guests.  May your business prosper and may your children’s future be prosperous.  May you live a fulfilled life on earth and when you arrive in Heaven, may you enjoy a seat at God’s table.  Amen & Mazeltov!

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