1. Make a list of all the people, from when you were little, who inspired you, taught you something important, loved you, hugged you or treated you with respect.
2. In fact, it often happens that someone who was your number-one enemy in your past could have taught you some of your most important lessons - if you have been honest enough with yourself!
3. Look up your old friends and connections on Facebook, Yahoo, Google, MySpace or Gaia.com - (you never know, they could have become spiritual in the meantime!)
4. Write to them honestly and thank them for whatever they meant to you.  If they write back and acknowledge you, take it from there.  Ask yourself whether it would serve you or them to continue a friendship or just show gratitude and move on.  [Be assured that I am NOT advocating looking up old boyfriends or girlsfriends and causing havoc in their lives.  This action must come from the right place - a place of gratitude and mature sharing - or else don’t even think about it!]
5. Send them photos of you, your children and what you’ve been up to and ask for some in return.  I know when I received photos of my friend’s children I just packed up bawling.  I was so moved and thrilled to see a mini-version of them - to see that they had co-created a miracle!
6. I guarantee if you shoot from the heart and are honest, you could give them a lift - whatever happens, it is always wonderful to acknowledge someone and let them know how special they were or are to you.
7. Find out when their Birthday is and send them cards or a message.
8. Some people are meant to be in your life for a little while, others for longer, and still others -forever.   So don’t become too attached to the outcome or reaction from the other person.  They may be going through hell, or simply have forgotten you - don’t take it personally - just put the good thoughts out there and then let it go, get on with what you were doing.
9. Send them flowers or a hug on Facebook.
10. Dedicate a song or video to them on Facebook
11. Check out where they used to live and where you used to hang out on Google Maps - it’ll bring back lots of memories.
12. If they’re on Skype and you’re on Skype, you can talk to each other through a mic or through your video cam transmission.
13. Congratulate them on their successes and show empathy for their disappointments. If you can’t find it in you to feel or do this, give it up, or get some therapy!  Write to me, I know lots of great therapists all around the world!  (No, don’t ask me why!)
14. Something very special happens when you are kind to someone and acknowledge them for being a person who meant or means something to you.  You encourage their hearts and that’s a good thing!
15. Tell them news about your life - if you haven’t seen each other for years, it will be like a breath of fresh air to them.
16. DO NOT unload your bags of manure on them - that’s where the therapist comes in - your friends are there to love you and support you if they are in a position to do so.
17. If you are able to, send them flowers, a book or something small and precious in the mail.
18. If not, send them a letter - it means so much to receive a hand-written letter these days.
19. Write them a poem of thanks.
20. Phone them once a month and chat with them if you know this is mutually beneficial.
21. Remember their children’s birthdays and send money or a card.
22. Give them a typical Jewish blessing - No, they don’t have to be Jewish!  May you want for nothing in life.  May your heart always be filled with joy and gratitude, even in times of despair.  May your family want for nothing and may there always be enough food in your house to feed your guests.  May your business prosper and may your children’s future be prosperous.  May you live a fulfilled life on earth and when you arrive in Heaven, may you enjoy a seat at God’s table.  Amen & Mazeltov!

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1. This is a blessing, and means good health to your belly button, but the general meaning is that your whole system should stay healthy and be in good shape. It’s a colorful, preposterous way of making a profound point: Because your life started with your belly button, it’s the center of your entire being.
2. To wish health to your belly button has a lot of meaning because Jews are always concerned about good health. When a Jew says “goodbye,” he never just says “goodbye,” but also wishes gezunt, which is health, and that you should be strong and able to plant trees, to put up buildings, to cross streets faster than anybody, to sit longer, to climb higher, and to dance better.
3. You can’t walk away from a Jew you’ve met on the street without listening to blessings upon blessings. Even if you’ve visited someone in his home for ten seconds, the blessings take an hour and a half.
4. They will follow you out the door blessing you: “And God should give you more pillows, more quilts, more salt shakers, more sodium, more carbohydrates."
5. " God should give you more chairs, more tables, you should have more furniture to sit on, more food to eat, more forks to eat with, more feet to walk on, more places to go, more people to see…..”
6. Jews have to protect each other from common problems as well as things nobody ever even heard of; “You shouldn’t know from unhappiness, you shouldn’t know from sadness. And even if you’re hurt you shouldn’t feel pain. And if you feel the pain it should go away in a second. "
7. "If somebody calls you names, you shouldn’t hear."
8. You shouldn’t know from strong winds, from loud voices, from noisy rooms, from hysterical wives, from fat cockroaches, from slow trains, from jumpy elevators."
9. You shouldn’t know from anybody grabbing you, from anybody robbing you, from anybody chasing you, from anybody cursing you, from people screaming at you, from people looking at you"
10. “You should never know from a bad toenail, from a bad tooth, from an earache, from a dirty finger, from a transplanted kidney, from tight shoes.
11. “You should only know from the best butcher, the best plumber, the best dentist, the best foot doctor.
12. In case you walk to the store you should never know from swollen feet. In case you have to buy something you should never have trouble with your credit card. You should never know from a bad heart, and only your enemies should suffer from heartburn. You should never know from congestion. You should never suffer from irritation or constipation. You should never leave the house without Maalox.
13. “You should always have love in your heart, goodness in your soul, and you should only know from kindness, from love, from sex appeal.
14. “You should always have the best pound cake, you should never have static on you television set."
15. "The goodness of life should always be in your house. You rich relatives should always know who you are, and your poor relatives should never be able to find you.”
16. All of this comes when you belly button is healthy.
17. When an Italian says goodbye, he wished you only one thing — a long life. It’s not like a Jew who is worried about your total well-being. An Italian is concerned that you’re going to die not from bad health but from somebody killing you. That’s why he always ask, “Is anybody bothering you?’ He’s going to protect you. You’re not in jeopardy of just losing your health, you might also lose your life, or at least get your legs broken. So the Italian is always offering protection, and the protection is usually from himself because he hates it if somebody else would break your legs.
18. Jews don’t offer you protection from people, they offer you protection from God. Jews deal only with God; that’s how Jews are different from other people. Jews convince themselves that if you can get God on your side, then you have nothing to worry about.
19. They say, “God should protect you. God should give you health and happiness. May God be with you.” They always start with God.
20. “May God watch over you. May God help you climb the stairs. May God let you get proper rest.” They’re always trying to protect you from the wrath of God, not protecting you from the wrath of another human being.
21.  Jews are always telling you in their blessing how long to live. Every Jew tells you you should live to be 120. But there’s always a Jew who says you can live to 150. Some other Jew tops that. He says, “You should live forever. You should never die. Everybody else should drop dead except you.” It’s always $3,000 worth of blessings for every two-cents worth of conversation.
22.  I never saw a gentile wish you good health and strength and happiness for three hours. Gentiles say, “I’ll see you.” Or, “So long.” Or, “Best of luck to you.” “Same to you.” The best of luck is the most a gentile ever offers you. As for children and grandchildren, gentiles just wish each other luck. When a gentile says “Good luck,” he thinks he includes everything and the case is closed. But a Jew is always wishing luck on the children and grandchildren and the great-grandchildren. They don’t care of they have these children or not. They’re wishing you luck just in case you have them, in case you know anybody else who has them…

From the outstanding website, "Talking Jewish" 

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I just can’t stop singing this man’s praises - of course, his wife deserves a medal as well.  These two blessed people WORK at their marriage.  For them marriage is the ultimate investment.  I have read Mort’s articles, studied his program and I truly believe that this is the answer to all the questions and problems that those of you who believe your marriage is failing, are having.

What have you got to lose?  Try this before you try anything silly….

Unlike other relationship experts who approach the topic from a clinical perspective, for me saving marriages is very personal

My wife and I were deeply in love. I remember staying up all night talking, surprising each other with thoughtful gifts, and speaking to each other in code words. You know the feeling of really being connected? That was us.

But then something happened that destroys most marriages. We had a son who died when he was one week old. And then we had twin daughters, who also died as newborns.

Your situation probably was not so tragic, but something happened. What was it? How did you lose each other? Or maybe you can’t put your finger on why things aren’t right anymore. That’s common too.

For us, after losing 3 children, everything felt different. Instead of talking all night, it was a chore to talk for a few minutes. Instead of using our code words, we used curse words. Our relationship consisted of screaming matches and silent treatments.

Somewhere deep in our heart though, like you, we knew we didn’t want to lose each other. So we made a commitment to work on our marriage. Sometimes I tried and my wife didn’t. Sometimes my wife tried and I didn’t. Sometimes we tried together. We went through different stages of "trying."

What did we try?

We tried the obligatory, "Honey, let me repeat what you said to make sure I understood you correctly." We applied conflict resolution strategies. My wife learned about Mars and I learned about Venus. We even went to counseling to wrestle with our problems. But guess what. Nothing changed. Nothing worked.

Because all the advice we got (books, counselors…whatever) asked us to confront our problems. But that just made us feel worse. And fight more.

As long as the "right" way wasn’t working, why not be dysfunctional? So we tried to convince each other of our way. You tried that too, right? Obviously, that doesn’t work.

Finally, we had a breakthrough.

We decided to SET ASIDE OUR PROBLEMS. We didn’t talk about them at all. We didn’t bring them up even once. Instead, we put our energy into trying to connect. We used certain relationship techniques that transformed our marriage. Not only did we resolve our differences; we fell in love again! And we did it not by dealing with our problems (as serious as they were), but by establishing new relationship habits that brought positive energy to our marriage.

This is the solution to most marital situations—to "step away" from your problems and spend your time and energy building your relationship through positive actions. If you do this RIGHT, your problems will dissipate, the threat of divorce will go away, and the other people invading your marriage will become irrelevant. Slowly but surely you will come closer together again.

Now you’re probably wondering, “How do I stay away from the very problems that plague me? What healthy habits or relationship techniques can bring us closer together? And what if my spouse doesn’t cooperate?” That’s EXACTLY what I’ll teach you. I’ll answer those questions and more so you get the results you want. Let me be more specific. Here’s what you’ll learn when you order Marriage Fitness Home-Flex™: 

1. How to snap out of destructive patterns of behavior
2. How to stop dwelling on the past and start moving forward
3. How to get over old hurt
4. How to restore trust
5. How to deal with a stubborn spouse (“Lone Ranger” track–see below)
6. What to do if your spouse is trying to control you
7. 7 daily acts that will rebuild love in your marriage
8. 5 weekly habits that will soften your marital environment
9. 2 monthly acts that will restore romance between you
10.  How to get your spouse to change
11. How to resolve money conflicts
12. How to fight amicably
13. The 4 primary principles of LASTING love
14. How to survive (and thrive) after an affair
15. How to become a team rather than 2 individuals
16. How to make decisions together
17. How to get YOUR needs met
18. How to connect with an emotionally absent spouse
19. How to keep the small things small
20. How to relieve anger and resentment
21. How to tickle your spouse’s soul
22. How to avoid pointing fingers and reciprocal blame
     FIND OUT HOW NOW!

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HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU MARRIED THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of my seminars, a woman asked me a
question. She said, "How do I know if I married
the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next
to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your
husband?"

In all seriousness, how do you know?

Here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,
you fell in love with your spouse. You
anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and
liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In
fact, it was a completely spontaneous
experience. You didn’t have to DO anything.
That’s why it’s called "falling" in love - because
it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my
feet." Think about the imagery of that
expression. It implies that you were just
standing there; doing nothing, and then something
came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and
spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria
of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY
relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is
not always welcome (when it happens), and your
spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every
relationship, but if you think about your
marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love
and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start
asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as
you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire
that experience with someone else. This is when
marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse
for their unhappiness and look outside their
marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and
sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But
sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie
outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love
with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY
you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same
situation a few years later. Because (listen
carefully) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN
MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous
experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You
can’t "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That’s why we have the
expression "the labor of love." Because it takes
time, effort, and energy. And most importantly,
it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to
make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love
is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you
can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed
with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe
(such as gravity), there are also laws for
relationships. Just as the right diet and
exercise program makes you physically stronger,
certain habits in your relationship WILL make
your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the
results are predictable - you can "make" love.

Marriage Fitness a step-by-step system for making
and maintaining love in your marriage. And the
program works for any marriage even if only one
spouse does it.

So what’s your first step?
Find out here…

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I just love this man and what he is doing to help save marriages all over the world…

Mort Fertel has been a featured expert on ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, and the Fox News Network. He is also a frequent guest on talk radio programs. His breakthrough program, Marriage Fitness, appeared in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, and the Toronto Sun .

Mort’s Marriage Fitness program is endorsed by marriage counselors, therapists, relationship experts, and mental health professionals. And he has helped save thousands of marriages.

WHAT TIME IS IT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE?

Many people think that life’s only goal is to be happy. I don’t think so. Have you ever been to a funeral? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time to be sad. Did you ever take the SAT’s, the MCAT’s, or any other important entrance test? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time for intensity. Have you ever waited for test results from a medical exam? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time to worry. Have you ever encountered a lot of turbulence on an airplane? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time to be scared.

The goal of life is NOT to be happy. The goal of life is to know what time it is. “Everything has its season. And there is a time for everything under the heaven.”

“A time to be born and a time to die.”

“A time to weep and time to laugh.”

 “A time to wail and time to dance.”

 “A time to rend and time to mend.”

 “A time to be silent and a time to speak.”

 “A time to love and a time to hate.”

 “A time for war and a time for peace.”

 What time is it for you? If you’re reading this, then maybe it’s time to renew your marriage. If so, then subscribe to Mort’s FREE report, “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” and get his FREE marriage assessment. CLICK HERE to subscribe. It’s FREE.

Mort Fertel is the Author of "Marriage Fitness" and a Certified Marriage Coach

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22Ways.net is an interactive website where you can find articles, comments, advice, reviews, ebooks and other products which are designed to provide assistance, support and guidance for your fundamental and unique challenges, your questions and your goals.

I have spent many years compiling books that address your concerns, questions or need for knowledge by indicating 22 Ways that will lead you closer to an answer, an achievement, enlightenment, a connection or an understanding.

Each book or article is specific, and the best thing about this is that when you purchase an ebook at $7.00US, 25% will go directly to the specific charity or organization that is designated in that publication and 25% will be split and paid out to the 10 co-authors of each compilation book .

Happy reading and happy writing! 

Helen Silver-Goldstein and Lisa Haeck, Whistler, British Columbia, Canada

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