I just can’t stop singing this man’s praises - of course, his wife deserves a medal as well.  These two blessed people WORK at their marriage.  For them marriage is the ultimate investment.  I have read Mort’s articles, studied his program and I truly believe that this is the answer to all the questions and problems that those of you who believe your marriage is failing, are having.

What have you got to lose?  Try this before you try anything silly….

Unlike other relationship experts who approach the topic from a clinical perspective, for me saving marriages is very personal

My wife and I were deeply in love. I remember staying up all night talking, surprising each other with thoughtful gifts, and speaking to each other in code words. You know the feeling of really being connected? That was us.

But then something happened that destroys most marriages. We had a son who died when he was one week old. And then we had twin daughters, who also died as newborns.

Your situation probably was not so tragic, but something happened. What was it? How did you lose each other? Or maybe you can’t put your finger on why things aren’t right anymore. That’s common too.

For us, after losing 3 children, everything felt different. Instead of talking all night, it was a chore to talk for a few minutes. Instead of using our code words, we used curse words. Our relationship consisted of screaming matches and silent treatments.

Somewhere deep in our heart though, like you, we knew we didn’t want to lose each other. So we made a commitment to work on our marriage. Sometimes I tried and my wife didn’t. Sometimes my wife tried and I didn’t. Sometimes we tried together. We went through different stages of "trying."

What did we try?

We tried the obligatory, "Honey, let me repeat what you said to make sure I understood you correctly." We applied conflict resolution strategies. My wife learned about Mars and I learned about Venus. We even went to counseling to wrestle with our problems. But guess what. Nothing changed. Nothing worked.

Because all the advice we got (books, counselors…whatever) asked us to confront our problems. But that just made us feel worse. And fight more.

As long as the "right" way wasn’t working, why not be dysfunctional? So we tried to convince each other of our way. You tried that too, right? Obviously, that doesn’t work.

Finally, we had a breakthrough.

We decided to SET ASIDE OUR PROBLEMS. We didn’t talk about them at all. We didn’t bring them up even once. Instead, we put our energy into trying to connect. We used certain relationship techniques that transformed our marriage. Not only did we resolve our differences; we fell in love again! And we did it not by dealing with our problems (as serious as they were), but by establishing new relationship habits that brought positive energy to our marriage.

This is the solution to most marital situations—to "step away" from your problems and spend your time and energy building your relationship through positive actions. If you do this RIGHT, your problems will dissipate, the threat of divorce will go away, and the other people invading your marriage will become irrelevant. Slowly but surely you will come closer together again.

Now you’re probably wondering, “How do I stay away from the very problems that plague me? What healthy habits or relationship techniques can bring us closer together? And what if my spouse doesn’t cooperate?” That’s EXACTLY what I’ll teach you. I’ll answer those questions and more so you get the results you want. Let me be more specific. Here’s what you’ll learn when you order Marriage Fitness Home-Flex™: 

1. How to snap out of destructive patterns of behavior
2. How to stop dwelling on the past and start moving forward
3. How to get over old hurt
4. How to restore trust
5. How to deal with a stubborn spouse (“Lone Ranger” track–see below)
6. What to do if your spouse is trying to control you
7. 7 daily acts that will rebuild love in your marriage
8. 5 weekly habits that will soften your marital environment
9. 2 monthly acts that will restore romance between you
10.  How to get your spouse to change
11. How to resolve money conflicts
12. How to fight amicably
13. The 4 primary principles of LASTING love
14. How to survive (and thrive) after an affair
15. How to become a team rather than 2 individuals
16. How to make decisions together
17. How to get YOUR needs met
18. How to connect with an emotionally absent spouse
19. How to keep the small things small
20. How to relieve anger and resentment
21. How to tickle your spouse’s soul
22. How to avoid pointing fingers and reciprocal blame
     FIND OUT HOW NOW!

Share This

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU MARRIED THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of my seminars, a woman asked me a
question. She said, "How do I know if I married
the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next
to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your
husband?"

In all seriousness, how do you know?

Here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,
you fell in love with your spouse. You
anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and
liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In
fact, it was a completely spontaneous
experience. You didn’t have to DO anything.
That’s why it’s called "falling" in love - because
it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my
feet." Think about the imagery of that
expression. It implies that you were just
standing there; doing nothing, and then something
came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and
spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria
of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY
relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
become a bother (if they come at all), touch is
not always welcome (when it happens), and your
spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every
relationship, but if you think about your
marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love
and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start
asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as
you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of
the love you once had, you may begin to desire
that experience with someone else. This is when
marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse
for their unhappiness and look outside their
marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and
sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But
sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie
outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love
with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY
you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same
situation a few years later. Because (listen
carefully) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN
MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous
experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You
can’t "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That’s why we have the
expression "the labor of love." Because it takes
time, effort, and energy. And most importantly,
it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to
make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love
is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you
can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed
with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe
(such as gravity), there are also laws for
relationships. Just as the right diet and
exercise program makes you physically stronger,
certain habits in your relationship WILL make
your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the
results are predictable - you can "make" love.

Marriage Fitness a step-by-step system for making
and maintaining love in your marriage. And the
program works for any marriage even if only one
spouse does it.

So what’s your first step?
Find out here…

Share This

I just love this man and what he is doing to help save marriages all over the world…

Mort Fertel has been a featured expert on ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, and the Fox News Network. He is also a frequent guest on talk radio programs. His breakthrough program, Marriage Fitness, appeared in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, and the Toronto Sun .

Mort’s Marriage Fitness program is endorsed by marriage counselors, therapists, relationship experts, and mental health professionals. And he has helped save thousands of marriages.

WHAT TIME IS IT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE?

Many people think that life’s only goal is to be happy. I don’t think so. Have you ever been to a funeral? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time to be sad. Did you ever take the SAT’s, the MCAT’s, or any other important entrance test? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time for intensity. Have you ever waited for test results from a medical exam? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time to worry. Have you ever encountered a lot of turbulence on an airplane? That’s not a time to be happy. It’s a time to be scared.

The goal of life is NOT to be happy. The goal of life is to know what time it is. “Everything has its season. And there is a time for everything under the heaven.”

“A time to be born and a time to die.”

“A time to weep and time to laugh.”

 “A time to wail and time to dance.”

 “A time to rend and time to mend.”

 “A time to be silent and a time to speak.”

 “A time to love and a time to hate.”

 “A time for war and a time for peace.”

 What time is it for you? If you’re reading this, then maybe it’s time to renew your marriage. If so, then subscribe to Mort’s FREE report, “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” and get his FREE marriage assessment. CLICK HERE to subscribe. It’s FREE.

Mort Fertel is the Author of "Marriage Fitness" and a Certified Marriage Coach

Share This

22Ways.net is an interactive website where you can find articles, comments, advice, reviews, ebooks and other products which are designed to provide assistance, support and guidance for your fundamental and unique challenges, your questions and your goals.

I have spent many years compiling books that address your concerns, questions or need for knowledge by indicating 22 Ways that will lead you closer to an answer, an achievement, enlightenment, a connection or an understanding.

Each book or article is specific, and the best thing about this is that when you purchase an ebook at $7.00US, 25% will go directly to the specific charity or organization that is designated in that publication and 25% will be split and paid out to the 10 co-authors of each compilation book .

Happy reading and happy writing! 

Helen Silver-Goldstein and Lisa Haeck, Whistler, British Columbia, Canada

Share This